What I've Been Up To

November 06, 2023

I drank a lot of beer this year. I also drank a lot of coffee, almost every day besides a few short intentional breaks of a few weeks at a time. Living in Dunkin hometurf (New England), it's always too easy to drive down the roadn in the morning all bleary-eyed and unshowered to the town Dunkin to get a large coffee and a few "old-fashioned" donuts (I use the quotation marks because they definitely feel like they were made in a laboratory, and there's nothing old-fashioned about that). Most of the time I'd make coffee at home, grinding the beans by hand, and pouring hot water into the carafe over the grounds. At least I always drink decent tasting coffee, black, no sugar or weird milks added.

The beer I drank was mostly in the second half of the year. After largely healing from some mysterious health issues in the first quarter of the year, I decided to start allowing myself to drink again. At least it hasn't seemed to make my physical health any worse, but I think it is slowing me down, making me a little dull and fat, and I'm ready to reclaim my mind fully.

So I'm just setting up the story to let you know that for the time being I've quit drinking coffee and booze indefinitely. I want to experience the culmulative benefits of avoiding caffeine and alcohol. I still have had a cup of green tea every day since my fast started at the beginning of the month, and I have had some chocolate (and sugar), but I am letting myself wean off of caffeine a little more gradually than booze. The withdrawal of both can be harsh, but so far it's been manageable.

I don't quite feel as clearheaded as I'd like, but that's probably because I still use cannabis. That's next to go, but the benefits of smoking canabis to me have been very clear as compared to the downsides. I only started smoking again a few months ago and it has really helped me with perspective, with productivity, and with positivity.

Since my health seems to have stabilized for the time being, I am doing my best to seize the moment, to build some good habits and to build a good foundation for my future work. I've been working on essays every day, aiming for a weekly publication schedule once I have a stash of mostly finished work to start sharing. I've also been getting back into software development, and finally rebuilding this site so it's a little more engaging. Social media is a hellscape that I would prefer to avoid re-entering, but I understand that those channels help a person broadcast their culture, and that's a critical part of my plan: to share and develop a culture in a mindful community.

What I have been working on is formulating a plan for how I can be best of value to other people in this world. Healing my body and my mind are pre-requisites for serving others effectively. Finding likeminded freethinking, compassionate, intrepid people is another part of the work. I don't expect to do everything alone, or even to lead alone, but to create the framework for cult members to grow the culture collaboratively.

I'm lying a little when I say that I don't use social media. I do have a Tiktok account that I've used for the past few years, but not really socially. I made a few videos, got discouraged when I saw the censorship during the pandemic and since, but I have continued to use it to expose myself to different perspectives and voices. Of course I also do love to watch ladies dance (and men too). But right now, I use it to hear the voices of eloquent and passionate allies for humanity. I see young people on the app evolving humanity with their intelligence and courage. It's inspired me, especially because I've lacked courage to express myself publicly these past few years.

Well if anyone has bothered reading this far, I think you probably should just email me to say hello. I wanted to post something as a sort of heartbeat, and as a demonstration of my commitment to express myself here.

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Yazan uses this site to share his ideas on creating a sustainable future together